-
The Beauty of Urban Legends
The first time I bought an issue of Weekly World News, it was because it boasted this amazing headline: BAD-ASS PIG KILLS MAN. I was hysterical over how absurd it was, and I spent the next year or so collecting clippings of this dearly missed publication (they do have a Facebook presence, but it’s not the same). I wish I still had that clipping, long lost after years of relocations. I am not exaggerating when I say I think of that quote every day.
Urban Legends, “fake news,” and madcap oddities have always been a passion of mine. Snopes, the ever-thorough website that allows its readers to debunk those vaguely racist emails from their aunts, is a godsend in this age of social-media- spread misinformation. I get a kick out of the paranormal (Bat-Boy, the Mothman, and who doesn’t love a good Black-Eyed-Kids tale?) just as much as I get angry over whatever it is Obama supposedly did this week (or what Trump didn’t do). I don’t know why these types of tales tickle me so much; I guess it stems from my childhood fear of my grandmother’s Time Life’s Mysteries of the Unknown collection, the cold thrill of dread, and the wonder of the possibility that there could be more out there than we know about.
Beyond the paranormal, Urban Legends serve as cautionary tales, largely sexist in trope: if you neck in the woods, you’ll be horribly murdered. If you go out alone, you’ll be horribly murdered. If you don’t check under your bed, you—and your dog!— will be horribly murdered (especially if you’re a woman). But, sexism aside, there is a purpose in their lesson: be vigilant. And that is never bad advice, whether it awareness of your surroundings, or calling out the bullshit that our current administration is constantly flinging at us.
When Zoetic Press announced this theme, I literally squealed. That is not hyperbole; I sounded like one of those plastic balls dogs like to chew on. I anticipated a lot of political entries, and we did get those at first, but as the weeks went by we received some of the most amazing, wacky, scary submissions I have ever read. And you know what? They really were all good. It was amazing. It’s an amazing theme. I found it very difficult to choose the pieces I did, because when everything is strong, how can you begin to choose? It is my sincere hope that, if we did not publish your piece, you will quickly land it elsewhere. And I believe you will.
This issue is filled with gems, from the delightful “The Fizziest Death” by Jessy Randall to the dark “The Railyard” by Sara Ellis to the extremely bleak “Ways to Go” by Zeke Jarvis (and everything in between). I hope you love this issue as much as I love it. And never forget: The Truth Is Out There.
Kolleen Carney
Guest Editor
Kolleen is a Burbank based poet with an undergraduate degree in English from Salem State University and an MFA in Poetry from Antioch University Los Angeles. She served thrice as an assistant editor and once as the co-editor of poetry for Lunch Ticket, as well as assistant poetry editor for Paper Nautilus and Soundings East. She is currently the social media coordinator for Zoetic Press, as well as an assistant poetry editor; she is the editor-in-chief and social media coordinator for Drunk Monkeys; she formerly served as the social media coordinator for The Citron Review and FIVE 2 ONE: An Art and Literary Journal.
Her chapbook Me and the Twelve Step Program was published by the Salem State Center for Creative and Performing Arts in 2003. Her chapbook Your Hand Has Fixed the Firmament is forthcoming from Grey Books Press. Her poetry and other writings have appeared or will be appearing in Currents, Vision/ Verse, Lunch Ticket, and MassPoetry.org, Golden Walkman, The Watershed Review, Incredible Sestinas, Uno Kudo Vol. 4, A Quiet Courage, Yellow Chair Review, Drunk Monkeys, Clever Girl Magazine, and Five 2 One Magazine. Her advice column, “Sincere Advice From a Girl Whose Life is a Mess,” appears in Five:2:One Magazine. Learn more about Kolleen at her ever under-construction website: kolleencarney.com.
Snopes cover
MANDEM is a media-fluid artist conglomerate. Their work on disability poetics, the visceral body, gender and childhood is in critical dialogue with art history, religious iconography/mythology, and various -punk aesthetics. MANDEM serves as art editor for The Deaf Poets Society journal (deafpoetssociety.com). They have recently been artist-in-residence at Il Palmerino (Florence, Italy) and Negative Space Gallery (Cleveland, Ohio). MANDEM’s current painting series, Hypermobility, is documented online at www./MANDEMart.com/hypermobility.
Showman Calling
Carolyn is an author and performer with a disability living in the Pacific Northwest whose forthcoming books include Drowning Ophelia and the YA novella The Ambiguous Tides of Saudade. Visit her website.
Mortuary Worker Accidentally Cremated While Napping
Daniel had his poem “Hellzapoppin’” set to choreography in the 2015 Dancing Poetry Contest and wrote haiku that appear in table displayettes in Google-office cafes around the world, instructing employees to observe basic courtesy while dining.
The Dracula Crest
Anthony is a reader for the The Literary Review currently completing his MFA in Creative Writing-Fiction at Fairleigh Dickinson University. His work has appeared in Berfrois, The East Bay Review, NoiseMedium, Rat’s Ass Review, and Writer’s Digest.
A Modest Proposal
Devon has written How the Blessed Travel and Forms Most Marvelous. Her work is in Glass: A Journal of Poetry, The Peacock Journal, The Cincinnati Review, The Ekphrastic Review, The Stillwater Review, Sierra Nevada Review, Red Earth Review, and Aeolian Harp Folio Anthology.
The Squirrels of Madison Square Park
Phoebe is a writer and performer living in Brooklyn, New York. Her short fiction has appeared in Slink Chunk Press and Bard Papers. She can be found, very occasionally, on twitter @PhoebeLCramer
Lincoln, Kennedy, and Me
Christina has recognitions including Bath Flash Award’s Short List, nominations for Best of the Net and Best Small Fictions, and second place in Bartleby Snopes’ Dialogue Contest. Read additional work here.
The Mexican Pet
Denise is the author of collections of short speculative fiction, poetry, and metaphysical nonfiction. Her most recent book of poetry, Paranormal Romance: Poems Romancing the Paranormal, was nominated for the Elgin Award.
The Railyard
Sara is a 2011 Lambda Emerging Writers Fellow and the winner of the 2015 Defenestrationism short fiction contest. Her stories have appeared in Ideomancer, Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine, Crossed Genres, and AE-The Canadian Science Fiction Review.
800 Pounds, Easy!
Todd has had work appear in several publications around the world, most recently appeared in The Compleat Anachronist. He has work forth-coming in Helios Quarterly.
Lights in the Dark
J. received a degree in Film and Media Arts, and has since returned to his first love, the written word. His writing has won awards in categories of short story, novel chapter, children’s book and poetry.
The Skull Is An Empty Time Capsule, Not an Alien
Sophie has work in The Literary Review and Lockjaw Magazine among others. Author of the chapbook City Structures, Sophie writes poetry reviews for Publishers Weekly.
Ways to Go
Zeke is an Associate Professor at Eureka College, where he edits ELM. His work has appeared in Thrice Fiction, Moon City Review, and Posit. His books include So Anyway… and In A Family Way. His blog can be found here.
Slenderman’s Beast
Anna has been published in Illinois Valley Community College River Currents and The Feminine Collective. Upcoming work will be featured in The Eastern Iowa Review and Northern Illinois University Northern.
Signs That the World Might Be Ending
E. E.’s books include Dirk Quigby’s Guide to the Afterlife and Another Happy Ending. The New Short Fiction Series launched her first anthology, Real Conversations With Imaginary Friends. Find her online here.
Einstein’s Bicycle
Robin provides historical research for writers (most recently for Susan Southard’s award-winning NAGASAKI). Her essays about life with her autistic son have appeared in parenting collections online and in print.
Minnesota Vikings Open Their Stadium to Shelter the Homeless
Jeanne is the author of the chapbook, Hearts And Harrows, and her work has appeared in Conduit, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, Poetry City, USA, Whistling Shade, and on KAXE radio.
The Smell of Rain
John has work in Blue Fifth Review, Peacock Journal, Gyroscope Review, NEJM, Inscape, Pedestal, and Baltimore Review. He edits poetry for Abyss & Apex and others. Visit his website.
Bananakiwi Claire
Erica is an author, poet, and speaker. She was a featured poet in the 2016 and 2017 Sundance Film Festival Indie Lounge. Her book I Am A Telescope: Science Love Poems is available on Amazon. Find her blog and poetry here.
Shirt Panels
Laura is editor of Virga Magazine. Her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Rust + Moth, Crab Creek Review, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, and HYPERTEXT. Her chapbook, Children, Apostates is available from Dancing Girl Press.
White Leather Sofa
Sarah’s short stories have appeared in Snowbooks’ Sharkpunk and Game Over, Hic Dragones’ Hauntings and Pankhearst’s See into the Dark. She also produces comics as part of Mindstain Comics co-operative.
The Fizziest Death
Jessy’s poems have appeared in McSweeney’s, Poetry, and The Best Experimental Writing. Her most recent book is Suicide Hotline Hold Music, a collection of poems and comics. Her website is here.
Ghost-Ship Resurrection
Kerry has won fiction and art contests (Geist; Postcards, Poems & Prose; Fusion Art and features in Centrifugal Eye; Minola Review; CanadianLiterature; AdHoc; Adirondack Review; and Five on the Fifth.
8 Maxims For the Toys R Us Ghost
Cameron has work in The Minetta Review, Yellow Chair Review, and once in a paperback gay romance novel. He believes in ghosts even though he’s never seen one.
Jake the Alligator Man
Jim is a Professor of Photography at Academy of Art University in San Francisco. He is also currently a PhD student in West African Art & Religion at the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley.
Wombed Heart
Ron is the author of Creature Storms. His work appears in River Teeth Journal of Narrative Nonfiction, Upstreet Magazine, number 12, Novella T. and forthcoming in 2 Bridges Review.
Haymarket Maggie
J. has an MFA in creative writing from Columbia College Chicago. He hope to continue his writing while teaching. This story is from his thesis, a novel in stories, entitled Conduits.
Equinox
Melissa is a bilingual poet and has presented her poetry at the Illustrious College of Geologists in Spain for the winter conclave ceremonials. Her poem The Jazzman is forthcoming in CHEST.